Tag Archive: prom safety
Prepping for a Safe Prom: Communication
April 22, 2011
“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.”
-Tony Robbins
Prom season is fast-approaching and many parents are busy helping their teens gear up for one of the most exciting time in their teen’s life. Often overlooked is the need for these preparations to include frank, specific, and honest discussions with teens about how to stay safe and avoid alcohol or drugs on prom night.
Most of the teens shrug off their parents’ advice, believing the discussion stems from parents not understanding that their teens just want to have a fun carefree night. But in reality, this comes from a place of understanding: these parents had proms in their day, and know how easily things can spiral out of control. It’s usually guidance on helping teens avoid decisions they might regret.
Here are some tips on exactly what to discuss:
- Communicate with other parents; then, talk to your teen about their friends’ parents. Being part of a social group does not guarantee that other parents share the idea of a zero-tolerance policy for alcohol. Some parents even choose to “look the other way” when hosting teen get-togethers, reasoning that at least, the teens are in a “safe” environment. This is illegal in any state. Communicate with these other parents to find out if they know where their teens will be after prom night. Even better, if the teens plan to spend time in another teen’s home, find out if the parents are willing to chaperone. Communicate the importance of accounting and locking up alcohol in their homes. When communicating with your teen, make sure that they know that it’s always alright to say “no.” Ask if they will be riding with teens whose parents also have a zero-tolerance policy for alcohol.
- Come up with a safety code. This could be something a teen may text their parent if they are in an uncomfortable situation, and they need an exit. Something like a code to signal, “get me out of here!” On your end, make sure that your teen knows that you will be discrete upon receiving this code. This could also be something that a teen can do to “check in” with their parents. Maybe texting something like, “dinner was awesome!” could mean that the teen has arrived at an after-prom destination safely.
- Discuss the teen’s planned itinerary for the evening, and require the teen to inform you of any changes. Make teens feel they could trust you not to bug them on prom night, if they promise to keep their end of the bargain by checking in and informing you of any changes in the plan.
Doing so will hopefully make prom night a “night to remember,” instead of being “the night when my mom bugged me all night, until I got home.” Pre-plan, communicate and have fun!
A Pre-Prom Plan for Avoiding Alcohol
May 6, 2009
Prom is an exciting event in the lives of many teens, who are preoccupied with buying dresses or renting tuxedos, selecting corsages and boutonnieres, choosing formal hairstyles, and making post-prom plans. But prom can also be a dangerous time for teens who choose to drink alcohol or ride with other teens who drink. You must plan ahead in order to ensure your own safety.
First, you need to understand that underage drinking is never acceptable. The fact that prom is a special occasion or that some parents might “look the other way” when their teenage children drink alcohol does not change the fact that underage drinking is illegal and very dangerous. If you are attending a party at a friend’s house, make sure your friends’ parents don’t intend to provide alcohol; if they do, tell your parents. This is illegal in every state. An alternative is to talk to your parents about organizing an after-prom party of your own.
If you will be riding with a friend, make sure it is someone whose parents do not permit the use of alcohol. You’ll still need to have a back-up plan in case something goes wrong. Create a code with your parents so you can signal for help without attracting your friends’ attention. If your parents don’t text, give them a few lessons before prom night; texting is a much easier way for you to communicate than via phone. If you need a ride, you can text a code that means “Please come get me!”, such as “Dinner was great!” When your parent arrives to pick you up, tell your friends you have a family emergency. Talk to your parents ahead of time about being able to call for a ride with no questions asked until the next morning, when you are calm and safe. However, if anyone at the event you are leaving is in danger of hurting themselves or others, you’ll need to tell your parent right away.
Make a record of your planned itinerary for the evening, and agree to inform your parents of any changes. Be alert to spontaneous changes in plans on the night of the prom; you won’t have as much control over the situation if it takes place in an unfamiliar location and/or with people you don’t know well. In the excitement of the evening, you could end up in a risky situation before you realize what is happening. This is why it’s especially important not to drink any alcohol at all, even a little; because even a small amount of alcohol reduces inhibitions and impairs judgment, you may react emotionally while under the influence without considering the consequences of your behavior.
Remember that the use of alcohol by teens increases the risk of activities that may result in serious long-term consequences, including:
- Use of other drugs (alcohol is a gateway drug because its use compromises judgment and reduces inhibitions)
- Driving under the influence
- Alcohol poisoning from binge drinking (teens often binge drink to relax and may participate in drinking games that result in ingestion of large quantities of alcohol in a short period of time)
- Increased sexual activity and multiple sexual partners due to lowered inhibitions, which increases the risk of pregnancy and/or sexually transmitted diseases
- Exacerbation of underlying, perhaps undiagnosed, mental illness
- Violence and rape (whether the victim is under the influence or not)
- Suicide
Planning for an alcohol-free prom may be a challenge, but doing so will help you have a safe, happy prom night.
Prepping for a Safe Prom: Talking to Teens
April 22, 2009
Prom season is fast approaching and many parents are busy helping their teens buy dresses or rent tuxedos, select corsages and boutonnieres, and choose formal hairstyles. But prom preparation should also include frequent, specific, and frank discussions with teens about how to stay safe and avoid alcohol on prom night. Here are some tips on what to discuss:
- First, talk to other parents; then, talk to your teen about their friends’ parents. Being part of your social group is no guarantee that other parents espouse a zero-tolerance policy for alcohol. You might be surprised to discover that other parents plan to provide their teens and their friends with alcohol in a “safe” manner and location. Though this is illegal in every state, it is a relatively common occurrence. If any of your teen’s friends’ parents plan to provide alcohol or “look the other way,” reinforce your own house rules about alcohol with your teen. Make sure they understand that underage drinking is never acceptable, no matter what any other parent says or does, even for a special occasion. Make sure your teen will be riding with friends whose parents do not permit the use of alcohol. Try to organize an after-prom party for your teen with other teens’ parents who have a zero-tolerance policy for alcohol and are willing to help chaperone.
- Next, create a code. Your teen must be able to signal for help without risking the ridicule of friends. If you haven’t started texting with your teen, this is a good time to practice. Texting is an easy, unobtrusive way for your teen to check in with you frequently throughout the evening. Your teen might say or text, “Dinner was awesome!” as a code for “Please come get me.” When you arrive to pick up your teen, she or he can blame you for having to leave or you can give the excuse of a “family emergency.” Make an agreement with your teen that if you do have to pick the teen up, a discussion about the reason can be tabled until the next morning, when you and your teen are both calm and safe. Otherwise, teens may avoid calling parents for help because they don’t want their parents to know about the circumstances that required the ride home.
- Make a record of your teen’s planned itinerary for the evening, and require your teen to inform you of any changes. Be alert to spontaneous changes in plans on the night of the prom; your teen won’t have as much control over the situation if it takes place in an unfamiliar location and/or with people she or he doesn’t know well. In the excitement of the evening, your teen might not anticipate difficulties and could end up in a risky situation before she or he realizes what is happening. You’ll need to check in more frequently in case your teen needs extra guidance.